Prayers Someone Else Wrote
A charismatic mom, an Episcopal daughter, and one very good question
My mother visited my church for the first time and leaned over mid-service with a question I’ve heard in different forms ever since: “Why are you reading prayers that someone else wrote?”
She wasn’t being unkind, just curious (and maybe a little judgy). My mom is more familiar with the evangelical tradition. She found that church as a teenager, after her family moved to this country. The Jamaican community had gathered there, and it wasn’t just worship, it was an extension of family. My dad’s mother was there. My mom’s aunt was there. My parents got married there. I was christened there. The Spirit moved through people who knew each other’s names, each other’s joys and sorrows, and prayer was part of that movement, unscripted and immediate. My dad eventually found his way back to the Episcopal Church, the tradition he’d grown up in before emigrating. My mom stayed where she was. I left church altogether for a while. But that’s another article.
What I can tell you is what my mom encountered when she walked into Trinity. It was quiet. It was ordered. Everything, what was read, who read it, when to stand and when to sit, was already printed in the bulletin. She’d brought her own Bible and realized, with disappointment, she didn’t need it. Everything was right there. The instructions were in the bulletin and spoken aloud by the priest. She knew exactly what to do. But that’s also when the question sharpened: they tell you what to say too? As different as that was, she also saw something familiar. My children knew people. After Godly Play, they were introducing her to the kids they sat next to every week. Parishioners were eager to meet her during the passing of the peace and linger with her at coffee hour. The extension of family she’d found in her own church, she could see it here too. The difference between our Sunday experiences wasn’t the community. It was everything else.
In her tradition, the Spirit moves through spontaneity. The preacher finds the words in the moment, the congregation responds in kind, and the liveliness of the room is how you know the Spirit is present. Nobody scripted it. Her church is a perfect example of what some may call “charismatic.” A written prayer, to her, raised a real question: how connected could we be to the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost if it was all written out? How could she tell if the Spirit was moving if everything was already scripted?
When I walk into Sunday Eucharist, I’m not carrying myself in alone. I’m carrying a week. Decisions I second-guessed, a conversation that didn’t land, something I should have said and didn’t, fatigue I haven’t fully named yet. If I had to produce fresh words for all of that in the moment, I’d spend the hour inside my own head. I’d be composing instead of praying.
Liturgy, a Greek word that means “the work of the people,” takes that weight off. The words are already there. Thomas Cranmer, the author of much of the Anglican liturgy, wrote most of them in the sixteenth century. Some are older. On a Sunday morning at Trinity, I don’t have to think about what comes next. My attention goes somewhere else entirely. Into the words themselves. Into the silence around them. Into whatever the Spirit is actually doing, which I would absolutely miss if I were too busy managing the service in my head. The liturgy is my Sunday rhythm.
The prayer isn’t done for us. We do it together, out loud, from the same page, in the same breath. The sameness is part of the point. It connects the person in the front pew to the person in the back, and both of them to the same prayer spoken in a church three hundred years ago, and three thousand miles away, this morning.
My dad’s family practiced this tradition for generations before it came back around to me. My mother chose something else. We’re both, I think, after the same thing. We just found different roads to it.